Anxiety is setting multiple alarms every day so that you are never late for anything but then being uncomfortable if you arrive too early.
Anxiety is working efficiently and being over productive but then crying in the shower because it’s all just too much.
Anxiety is leaving text messages from friends unanswered because you overthink your response but then believing unanswered messages from friends must mean they don’t like you.
Anxiety is being too exhausted to be awake but too exhausted to fall sleep.
Anxiety is feeling like your brain never stops racing but being unsure how to sit in…
As I was listening to my sons tell me all about their impromptu baseball practice session at the field the other day, critiquing each other’s stance, swing and follow through, I realized that life is a lot like getting up to bat in baseball.
Behind you are your friends. They are the people in the crowd who are there for you and want you to do your best. They know when you need to be cheered on and when you need them to be quiet. They get you.
Fans of the other team
Behind you may…
Photo by Jenni Brennan of Changing Perspectives
Can you feel it?
I know I can.
The tide has come in and the storm is raging again.
Life has returned to the pre-quarantine pace — and I can’t catch my breath.
Every day feels like I’m running a 5k and the finish line keeps moving. On this race route there’s no one handing out free cups of water. There’s no one cheering me on and offering me encouragement. There are no breaks. If I slow to a walk, I’ll surely be run over by the herd of runners around me.
And I Missed The Loudness
For some reason, I hate that term.
Maybe it’s because I don’t like labeling something as normal vs. abnormal. It feels too judgmental.
Maybe it’s because I don’t like change. Change is always hard and uncomfortable.
But, this is my life now — the new normal. Whether I like it or not.
After over a year of remote and hybrid learning where my children have been at home at least 3 school days each week, my children have returned to full time in person schooling.
After over a year of working primarily from…
The Positive Side of Quarantine
I have a confession.
All around me this week people are sharing their posts from a year ago — posts from when our lives as we knew them came to screeching halt.
Although those 2020 feelings of dread, fear, and uncertainty are there beneath the surface and I can easily tap into them, those feelings are not how I define my memories of the past year.
I remember things a bit differently.
I remember my oldest son walking around in a bike helmet all day on a dare from his brother because what else was…
It’s easy to miss them.
It’s easy to miss all the little moments that remind us that we matter.
It’s easy to miss those exchanges that show us how much we are loved.
It’s easy to let those moments happen, pause for a brief bit of gratitude, and then return to the hustle and bustle of life.
It’s easy to miss the weight of all those moments.
It’s easy to miss the weight of the quick text from a friend after your child’s sports game telling you your son played great and asking you how you are feeling.
To the mama who didn’t get to have a normal childhood,
I see you.
I see your daily pain as you move through the journey of parenthood, realizing over and over again just how much you were mistreated and abused by your own caregivers.
Your heart breaks almost daily for all the things you missed or had taken away from you during what was supposed to be your childhood.
YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS:
You didn’t deserve any of the abuse, neglect, and mistreatment that happened to you.
None of it.
It was the job of your caregivers to keep…
Life on the struggle bus
It’s your struggle bus captain checking in again.
This week I am 4 weeks post surgery and when the doctor told me the hormones would be awful for up to 4–8 weeks, he wasn’t lying.
Yesterday I had a mini panic attack because the football stadium seats felt too steep and I was afraid I would topple to my death.
Then I cried because my freshman’s football coach sent a text for everyone to meet for dinner and it felt so nice to see something so normal.
And then an hour later I…
How I Learned To Drive The Other Way
The other day I fell into a sinkhole. Again.
You know the kind of sinkhole I’m talking about — the metaphorical kind. The kind that opens up and drags you under, disrupting your life — usually without warning.
This same stupid sinkhole has plagued me for years now. Each time it gets patched up, the fix only lasts for a short while before it becomes dangerous again.
Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about the sinkhole.
I’ve learned what causes sinkholes and how you can try to decrease your chances of…
Before I became a parent, I had some basic parenting expectations for myself. For example, I was quite positive that my children:
would be potty-trained before age 3;
would never sleep in my bed;
would never own toy guns;
would never play video games;
would never play a contact sport before high school;
would never be one of those over-scheduled children with multiple sports and extra-curricular activities.
Once I became a parent, however, that list quickly got tossed into the garbage. Parenting, it turns out, is something that you can never fully prepare for or predict. I am often making…